On the Feast of Stephen

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

I still miss him.

Year and a half, and I do miss him.  I have to accept he lived his life the way he wanted, and if that meant dying sooner than I would have liked, well....    I remember and cherish all that was wonderful and amazing and loving about him.  What was fallible and fragile about him, however, I won't forget.  I won't forget, because it helps me continue to grow into the better person he hoped for me to be.

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

Carl & I & the kids drove over to my mom's house to "have" Christmas. Wow! my mom & my brother spoiled the kids.  I built a tower of gifts around me as they opened them.  My dad would have enjoyed watching them.  We ate "finger" foods like cheese and crackers, but not any cheese and crackers; even trying to do "simple," my mom served baked brie and gourmet crackers.  She made mimosas.  In memory of my dad, a tumbler half-filled with bourbon was at the head of the table.

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

While the kids played, my mom pulled out a DVD of our "old home movies."  I hardly saw my dad in any of them; he was the guy with the 8mm camera.  Even with him "missing" from the reels, I knew it was him with the camera.  He not only would film people, he'd film the scene. Many of the movies were from Christmases, and there were almost as many frames of the tree and the china and the furniture.

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

My mom would make a big deal of his birthday, since it falls the day after Christmas-- laments about him not getting a cake or presents as a kid. (His sister said otherwise, and my dad admitted it, but it made my mom happy to make a fuss over him.)  If we couldn't be there on Christmas, she wanted us there on the 26th.  She'd make him a cake he liked-- Carrot cake, German chocolate, Italian cream (things my brother wouldn't eat.)

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

He loved Christmas!  My mom loves the decorating and the cooking and the presents.  My dad loved the enjoyment.  My mom would make special foods, and he enjoyed eating them.  He enjoyed hearing people compliment her cooking.  He enjoyed watching us open the gifts.  My dad never wanted anything special for gifts; practical things like socks or wood glue made him content.  But my dad was a great present selector!  He wrapped them perfectly... or deceptively......  He enjoyed the music the best, and would sing with joy.  My dad had a strong and beautiful voice, and he gladly shared with everyone.  But mostly, he enjoyed the wonder and joy of KIDS at Christmas.  We tease my mom about "loving" her grandkids more than her kids.  But in his less-over-the-top manner, my dad adored and cherished his grandkids as much.  He was happy with them sitting his lap.  If the baby was fighting sleep, his warm embrace and his warm voice lulled them.

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

I'm afraid that my kids won't remember him.  I hope I have enough pictures and memories to remind them (especially for DLG) of their precious, short time with their Paw-Paw.

My daddy would have turned 75 today.

I love you, Daddy.