Chore Chart, Line 8

So maybe I do want to lose some weight. I need to. I am 200 pounds but only 5'4" (barely.) Luckily for me, I've put on my weight everywhere (including my back where I can't see it) and I have big, dense bones, so I don't feel that I look as huge as I think I should be. If that even made sense.

Over the years I've "self-medicated" with food. Chocolate is fave, but I'm not picky: cold mac-n-cheese, french fries, uncooked pie crust, whatever I was in the mood for, or at least was handy & could be eaten without my family knowing it. Sounds like I have a food addiction, huh? I could give up alcohol, if I was consuming drinks like I've done with food, but I can't just give up food.

I can give up unhealthy patterns.

I'm trying not to count calories/carbs/fat, etc, but instead to look at my portions. Hence, "right-size meals." That would also include well-balanced meals, and not pasta every night while using canned veggies. I still snack a bit, too, but I'm choosing a dozen of the almonds my husband roasted without oil or salt, a spoon of hummus, some grapes or a glass of milk. This past month when I had my pre-menstrual chocolate cravings, I got one of these vitamin & protein enriched energy-type bars-- as many calories as a candy bar (and sometimes more fat,) but more filling with bonus nutrition. Trying to change.

I would like to be a good example to my kids; the boy doesn't eat enough and the girl sometimes eats more than her fair share. I'd like to stop envying other woman and how nice they look in their clothes, even the "plus size" ones. I'd like to think that I look good in my clothes.

Mostly, I want to get enough weight off so I can wear my wedding ring & engagement ring again. Those are the one thing I can wear and always feel beautiful.